Self Care

Hello Alamo!

I didn’t even try to get anything out last week because I had family visiting from Minnesota. Weirdly enough, that’s exactly what I’m going to blog about today.

Taking breaks when you need them is something a lot of people have trouble doing. We’ve been conditioned to feel guilty or lazy any time we are not being productive, whatever that means. I can’t speak for every single disabled person because our experiences are so diverse, but I’ve experienced that internal pressure too. I’m here at home all day for the most part so I better make myself useful.

It’s not always a bad thing. It’s the inner voice that led to blogging the first time around.

It does become a problem when you push yourself past your limits just to keep up. I know that’s not always a choice you get to make, but I think it’s important to be able to discern when you can make that choice. If you have the opportunity to make life a little bit easier on yourself, why wouldn’t you take it? Because other people, who notably are not you and haven’t lived a single day of your life, might judge you?

Here’s a scenario: you have certain tasks you need to complete every day for your job and yuou know if you consistently blow them off, you will be fired. You can’t lose this income, so you do them every workday like clockwork. Because they are now habit, your boss throws some more tasks your way. You struggle a bit under the new work load.

It’s almost Thanksgiving, and your entire extended family is visiting. They’ve decided that you’re hosting at your house this year. You have a million little things to do to make sure the house is clean, there’s enough parking and house room for everyone, there’s enough food for everyone, your home is nice and welcoming, decorations are put up, whatever traditions you’ve had for years are happening again…

Obviously to most of us, delegating out dishes to other family members would be very helpful. Personally I would limit decoration to a few mini pumpkins on the tables and maybe nice tablecloths if they’re accessible to me. I would have a partner or friend encourage car pooling. Instead of spotless, I would consider uncluttered but visibly lived-in clean enough. And then we’d have plenty space to continue our other traditions.

This is accommodating yourself, and it’s not shameful. If your family doesn’t like it, they can speak up like adults, and they are more than welcome to try their hand at hosting next year.

As a disabled child to teenager, it was very aggravating to have family try to place limits on me. Whether or not they meant to, it came from a place of seeing me as inferior and needing to control me because they thought they knew better. Again, without living a single day of my life. I finally felt free and autonomous when I was able, with the help of my friends, to test out and realize my own limits.

I wish that for every disabled person. I also wish that for every person yet to accept their disability because it’s not based strictly on the medical model. And I especially wish it for those whose aging bodies are starting to tell them to slow down.

Salud.